by John Schrup
Pretty soon in this space you’ll see a list of the Best Rogue Shoes of 2012. We probably should have named it something with a better hook, but we’re doing our lunge matrix right now, so time is limited. It seems to me that every year about this time, shortly after the high temperatures drop to double digits and the Starbucks puts up its Christmas tree, we get lists of all the things that the past year has broughten us. I blame David Letterman.
So my list isn’t really a list, rather just a space to tell you what shoes I wear regularly in my rotation. I have, I don’t know, maybe a dozen or so pair that I wear. Some more than others. Some rarely, kinda like when you’re going through your high school yearbook and you go, Hm, wonder what she’s been doing. But there are, like, five pair that I rotate pretty regularly. I’m going to give them to you here and now because, you know, I’ve had coffee. A quick glance in the back seat of the Yaris gives us this:
Saucony A5: Technically, Saucony’s race flat. They should call it the Kinvara Racer because it would make more sense in terms of branding and, you know, sounding better. These bad girls are tight! Not fit wise, but you know what I’m talking about. If I were talking about tight fit, I’d talk about the Gloria Vanderbilt jeans Jill Strelsky wore when we went to see The Devil and Max Devlin back in the day. I’m not going to tell you how old I was when that happened, but I will tell you I remember being pretty excited because that year in school we got to use the lined paper that didn’t have the little training wheel dashes between the big lines. So, um, yeah. Not only was she hot, but girl was ****ing awesome in the four square tournaments at lunch. Anyway, Sauncony A5 because it is light, low and feels like Jill’s jeans look.
adidas Adios 2: Even though it would appear that the A2 goes against everything I look for in a shoe–it ain’t particularly low, nor flexible, it’s got all kinds of shit in the midsole–when I put these things on to run I can vote retroactively and the TSA people get in line to frisk me. They are the most beautifully firm shoe I’ve ever worn. I’ve got two or three other pair with similar offsets, but none feel as fast as these do. If you were to chart the awesomeness of these shoes, I’d let you, and then I’d do venn diagram of it. I’ve got my fingers crossed that the bottle lands on the original Adios, since they’re way sexier, but these are worthy of a shared visit to the closet, totally. I bet though that when the Takumi Sen comes out, my A2’s become that kid at the party who fiddles around with all the stereo equipment because no one picks them to make out.
Saucony Kinvara 3: This shoe, at one point, was like that older girl you met in summer school who was really cool because she listened to PE when you were still singing “Abracadabra.” She was ahead of her time, super sexy and you had to keep your shirt untucked when you ran/saw her in the hall. Yeah, I’d make it a little firmer, but this shoe disappears on your foot, and that’s pretty much what a shoe is supposed to do, so I’m not complaining. If the K3 had the firmness of the A2, holy crap, I’d totally get arrested for the things I’m thinking right now. Or maybe applauded, I don’t know your background.
New Balance 1600: Not too long ago, this would have been the 1400. But then the 1600 came out, and so you drop the first one for the roommate, and the first one starts driving by your place when the roommate is there, even though you live like nine miles from campus and then the first one comes up to you in front of the administration building when you’re on your way to the sorority thing in the Pub and she gets all in your face and you can tell she’s had a drink or two and then she grabs your tie and tries to throw you to the ground but you do one of those Matrix moves and get out of it and then have to file a police report and then you stick with the 1600, because it is sexier, anyway.
Wow. I’m reliving the glory days, it would seem. Since there are only four pair of shoes in the Yaris right now, the fifth one would have to be:
adidas Rocket: You thought I was going to say the Hagio, dintcha? Nope. I’ve got a stash of the Rocket in the living room closet. It is pretty old school, especially when compared to the Hagio, which is all dépêche mode and shit, but it is smoother, doesn’t make that slappy sound when you’re breaking it in, and the upper is way more better. The Rocket is like that guy you knew who was pretty much everything you ever wanted in a boyfriend, but just couldn’t pull the trigger because he looked like an Alfred E. Newman/arachnid hybrid. Performs at the highest level, is everything you want, super awesome on all fronts, except that you just don’t completely dig it on a count of the whole, you know, ugly thing. I’m going to say it again: When the Takumi Sen arrives, even the Rocket is gonna be all, Why don’t you return my messages anymore?
Check it: For those of you who fancy yourself a dedicated runner, a dedicated marathoner, who wants to find out what you’re made of, John coaches Team Rogue on T, Th mornings at 5:30.